c) Miss Lora
1) It really is a holiday, gentlemen – It’s rude to forget that it’s Valentine’s Day and then try to excuse it by saying it’s not a “real” holiday. It’s official to her and the rest of the world and you’re surrounded by hearts, flowers and pink and red everything everywhere you go 24/7 the two weeks before February 14th. There really is no excuse and even a hand written love letter is better than showing up with nothing. Now you may be one of those guys who say that you don’t want to be pressured into giving flowers on a certain date. You like to be spontaneous. If that’s the case, you’d better actually show up with that bouquet to put in her loving arms and preferably before March 1st.
2) Big box of chocolates and diets don’t mix – Just because the commercials tell you that picking up a huge box of Valentine chocolates will win you romance points with your woman doesn’t mean that it will. Most women are trying so hard to stick to their New Year’s resolutions of diet and exercise and that red and lace box might as well be a rude ticking time bomb. Instead of getting her a tub of the cheap stuff, just get her a few pieces of the expensive kind and tape them to a gift card for a manicure/pedicure at her favorite salon or even better, a full body massage. She’ll get to indulge just a little without the guilt and she’ll feel so good when she comes home from the spa that she’ll have more love for you!
3) Tacky lingerie is rude, rude, rude – The truth is no matter how well you know your woman, you don’t know what’s nice and what isn’t when it comes to her lingerie. It’s all going to look terrible and that means no romance for you! So save yourself the embarrassing conversation with the saleswoman. Just get her a gift card so she can pick out her own sexy outfit that she can bring home and put on as a surprise for you. And men, don’t even think about looking in the crotchless or edible underwear section. Of course, if you have that kind of relationship then let her buy it and make it her Valentine’s present to you. There’s somebody – and something for everybody.
4) Ladies, be grateful for what you get – It’s rude to expect a certain kind of present for Valentine’s Day. It’s okay to drop hints even big ones, like leaving out a certain ad or magazine. Most men appreciate this because they struggle with the whole gift process whereas we women seem to come by it naturally. And some men are smart enough to just flat out ask you what you’d like but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to get it. He may have realized he doesn’t have the cash and needs to save up to buy it for your birthday. Or he really might think that what he came up with is better than what you wanted. It rarely will be but it’s your job to smile pretty and say thank you to him with a big hug and kiss because honestly, anything else would be rude.
5) He’s going to do exactly what you say – Ladies, it’s rude if you tell your man that he doesn’t have to buy you anything for Valentine’s Day and then get mad as a wet hen when he doesn’t. It’s not that men are clueless that way. You’re the one being ridiculous thinking that he’s a mind reader who will know that you really didn’t mean it. If you want a present, say it loud, say it proud! Men do not want to be in the dog house on the most romantic day of the year especially when you’re the one who put him there! If you really don’t want him to get you anything, then maybe the two of you can make an agreement ahead of time that you’ll do something nice for each other like cooking a wonderful meal together or writing letters saying what you love about the other person. Cut the man a break and get what you really want because that’s just more love for you! Really. Miss Lora, “The Trailer Trash Miz Manners”, is the author of “Y’all Are Rude!” a comedy advice book on Amazon & Kindle based on her 1,000,000+ hits web series’ “Y’all Are Rude!” and “The Southern Guide to Internet Dating” at www.MissLora.com. She is a Southern Communication Expert, Dating and Life Coach, stand up comedian and air personality who’s been on national TV and radio and is the co author of “Power Lines: What to Say in Problem Situations” (Harper Collins).