5 Tips for Dealing with Rude Shoppers at the Holidays

Welcome to the holidays, y’all, where rude shoppers are everywhere, all the time. So Miss Lora, the Trailer Trash Miz Manners and author of the comedy advice book, “Y’all Are Rude!: Clean Up Your Act With Miss Lora & Baking Soda” has 5 tips on dealing with rude shoppers whether on the road or in the Mall – other than getting into a screaming match with them. Really.

Holiday Shoppers can’t drive – It’s a statistical fact that drivers lose their minds more than usual at the holiday season. It’s like all those gift lists, overspending and eggnog specifically kill brain cells of coordination and common sense. Or maybe it’s actually from the alcohol they’re drinking just to get through it all. Really. Whatever the reason, your main job is to be on the lookout for those cars weaving and wobbling on the road so they don’t hit you on the way to the Piggly Wiggly much less the Mall. Another important tip is to use your turn signals! I know you don’t bother the rest of the year. But it’s imperative at the holidays because it may be the only thing that keeps those other crazy drivers from playing bumper cars with your rear end. Trust me.

Holiday Shoppers can’t park either – It’s another statistical fact that there are more fights in the Mall parking lots this time of year than any other. You don’t want to go there, hon. Trust me. Because jail is not where you want to be celebrating the holiday. Instead, Miss Lora recommends you take the spot that is farthest away from the store for three reasons: it’s the easiest one, you’ll get more exercise and by the time you’re at the store, you’ll have cooled off from dealing with the obnoxious traffic. Remember this important tip though: Stupid drivers are everywhere. They’re notorious for speeding up just as you’re trying to cross that little area from the parking lot to the store. Feel free to be as rude as you want and yell at them to SLOW DOWN! But make sure you do it from the sidewalk not the crosswalk. That’s one game of chicken you will never win. Really.

Holiday Shopping ain’t life or death – Hon, it is not worth whacking somebody over the head for a hoodie. It’s just a gift. It’s rude to tangle over it especially when there are at least 40 more just 3 feet down the aisle. If somebody wants something that bad, just give it to them. Honestly, Miss Lora does not understand why some folks feel like they’ve got to fight their way to the merchandise. It’s not like those gifts are gonna jump off the shelves and start running around like chickens with their heads cut off. That only happens occasionally on Black Friday and on that day, y’all are on your own. Really.
Have aisle etiquette – or not – Retail stores are rude, rude, rude when it comes to aisle space. They give us these big ole carts and little tiny aisles where we have to beg for forgiveness every 10 minutes that we’re bumping somebody. Actually, you can tell how high falutin’ a store is by the size of its aisles. The expensive places have wide ones and the inexpensive ones where a lot of us shop have skinny ones that stress us outYou’d think all those cheap prices would get us a deal on floor space too. Obviously not. The bottom line is there are two ways you can go about dealing with this problem. You can be an angel and be as polite as you can, going slowly through the store, not letting your kids run all over everyone’s feet with your apologies ready for the crowds. Or you can listen to that little devil on your shoulder and pay attention to the surveys that prove that if you bump a woman with a cart once, she’ll get mad. Bump her twice and she’ll leave the store. Then you just be as rude as you want to be banging into everybody and you’ll clear that place of holiday shoppers quick. But don’t tell anybody that Miss Lora told you to go there cause she didn’t. Really. Now if you’re the one getting bumped twice, don’t you dare leave. Just stay the course and get that special gift no matter what they do because we all know the best revenge is shopping well.

Be kind to the cashiers – Working a checkout counter is tough anytime but the holidays truly are Dante’s seventh circle of hell. And you don’t need to be making their job any worse so be nice when you get up there. Have a smile on your face and remember it’s rude not to have your checkbook or credit or debit cards But it’s not rude to tell the store manager they need more cashiers. How hard is it to figure out that 50 people waiting for 2 checkout counters equals an impending riot! I’ve scurried over to alert a manager that they need to open a new lane and I can’t tell you how many times they’ve looked at me like it’s never occurred to them. Bet if they got binged in the head with my nephew’s soccer ball that’d wake them up quick.And don’t even get me started on cell phone conversations Yes, shopping is stressful and boring but it’s not your time to discuss every holiday recipe you’ve ever thought of making Once you’re at the cashier, it’s time to hang it up, git it done and git outta there!Really.
c) Miss Lora. Available for Interviews! Miss Lora, “The Trailer Trash Miss Manners”, has over 1,000,000+ hits on her Youtube web series’ “Y’all Are Rude!” and “The Southern Guide to Internet Dating” at www.MissLora.com. She is a Southern Communication Expert, Dating and Life Coach, stand up comedian and air personality who’s been on national TV and radio and is the co author of “Power Lines: What to Say in Problem Situations” (Harper Collins).

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